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about
Dating back to 2016, Patron Saint is one of the oldest offerings from the Darling Congress debut Jubilant Blue, and in the canon of works that make up singer/songwriter Peter van Helvoort’s catalog, there are not many that exist in a non-autobiographical world. The song captures a fictional conversation between van Helvoort and an old high school friend who committed suicide at a party nearly a decade after the two had last spoken. “I wanted to write something that focused on the impossible ‘WHY’ that people always hover around after someone chooses to end their life. The verses of the song just push this myriad of questions out, some serious, some mundane, some absurd,” says van Helvoort. There is a desperation and rapidness in the prompts which search to find an answer to a question that is often unanswerable. The lyric, ‘For you I’d feel like dying’, finishes each verse in an attempt at clemency and to turn back time and put oneself in the place of the song’s subject. The chorus is where the song really shines and aims to offer a turn in the narrative and tone of the song, “The original version of the song had a much darker refrain. A big part of the songwriting process with Brett (singer of The Glorious Sons) was finding a way to change my own story, and thus the story of my songs. My own struggles with depression led me deep into this one, and the chorus aims to emphasize a very personal understanding of the battle between dark and light. It might sound overly simplistic to ask someone to instead consider living, but there have been many times in my life where I’ve needed to hear that in such simple terms.” It’s this frankness that often lends so much power to van Helvoort’s compositions, and there is a charm in a lyricist who is not afraid to walk away from innuendo and cease hiding behind their words. In Patron Saint there is an artistry in coming out and saying what we wish we could have said.
lyrics
Were you drinking, were you drugging?
Were you sticking your head in the oven?
Were you laughing, were you crying?
For you I feel like dying...
Were you shaking, were you faking?
My patron saint in the making
Were you smiling... flying?
For you I feel like dying, for you I feel like dying
Have you ever felt like living?
Fuck all your misgivings
I used to see you shining, darkness so inviting
My Patron Saint in hiding
Did you break up, did you wake up?
One more halo to hang up
Were you lying, or were you sighing?
For you I feel like dying, for you I feel like dying
Have you ever felt like living?
Fuck all your misgivings
I used to see you shining, darkness so inviting
My Patron Saint in hiding
Were you fucked up? Were you failing?
Were you looking for a little understanding?
Have you ever felt like living?
Fuck all your misgivings
I used to see you shining, darkness so inviting
My Patron Saint in hiding
credits
released June 9, 2022
Written by: Peter van Helvoort & Brett Emmons
Engineered by: Matt Snell
Mixed by: Peter van Helvoort
Produced by: Brett Emmons
Guitar/Vocals: Keegan Powell
Bass: Brent Wirth
Drums: Konrad Commisso
Artwork: Kyle Fisher & Kaleigh Gorka
Layout: Ben Pokol
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